Tag Archives: performance

Sneaky Preview

20 Thursday Sep 2018

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Dear readers!

It’s started! Two shows down, four to go! Reviews from family and friends are that the show is the funniest thing they’ve ever seen and excellent entertainment value.

The drummer from my band, Wasted Monday, Sarah, took this fabulous photo of us on stage on Monday.41991634_1099127766919997_5446149927262486528_n

So much silver! So much silliness! So many exclamation marks!

Tickets are still available for all shows, I recommend the Friday or Sunday performance.

I’d love to see you there! xxx

Image Reveal

13 Sunday May 2018

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A short progress update: we are still negotiating with venues and deciding dates, but we have a cover image reveal for you.

Promo Image

This image will feature in the Fringe guide, on the website and on all of our promo materials.

Fleur and Alexandra are Out of This World will be appearing at the Melbourne Fringe Festival in September 2018. More details to follow!

Performance Artist

09 Wednesday May 2018

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This is one of the poems from my recent NaPoWriMo experiment. I hope you enjoy it.

 
Performance Artist

I’m shy
I don’t want to talk to people
they seem so much more legitimate than me

I’m uncomfortable
my legs don’t sit nicely when I cross them
because of my massive thighs

I ate luke-warm, oily Bolognese
scoffed it down before heading
into this room full of arty types

The book I brought to write in is massive
it takes up too much room
it’s not spiral bound

but it does have a shiny pink metallic cover
and was a present from my Kris Kringle at work
colour and writing, my two obvious features

I’ve only got four business cards with me
which seems like an oversight now
I have hundreds at home, where they’re of no use

Take a deep breath. It will be fine.
Stick out your hand and introduce yourself.

Over half way to May!

17 Tuesday Apr 2018

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This is just a brief update post on what’s happening in April. Things have been progressing well in my world. So far I have completed my poem each day (not today but shhh) as part of NaPoWriMo and making good progress on the show for the Melbourne Fringe Festival.

Firstly, the poetry. I’ve been writing everyday, which has been great. I’ve been hand-writing my poems, and then transcribing them onto the computer for posterity and editing (of which I have done little). So far most of the poems have been on the ranty end of the spectrum. There are one or two with potential to become something more polished. I wouldn’t show the raw poems to anyone, but as a way of getting some stuff out of my brain it’s been very effective.

I try not to judge the quality of my first drafts, but it’s a challenge to stay away from that judgemental thinking.

Last Sunday I attended a workshop run by one of the writing groups I’m a member of, the Melbourne Romance Writers Guild. We had well known author and all around champion human C. S. Pacat to talk about world building. It doesn’t sound much like romance at first but creating a sense of authenticity to the setting is important in any book, especially in fantasy or sci-fi.

The part of the workshop which really stood out to me was the idea of the creative phase versus the skeptic phase. The creative phase is when you write down every idea that comes to you. You ascribe no value to it. The skeptic phase is when you then go back and evaluate whether the ideas will ‘work’, if they’re practical, or derivative etc. Pacat said that these two types if thinking inhibit each other and doing them at the same time will not produce good results.

I’m very good at critiquing ideas as soon as they come to me, which is not very useful creatively. I’m sure it’s a skill, like any other, to allow yourself to ‘go mad’ in the first phase, and really hone in in the second phase. I aim to improve this skill set in future.

Secondly, Melbourne Fringe Festival registrations are now open. This means we’re de-prioritising script development to focus on venue selection and application submissions. I’ve also bought a bunch of materials to start making puppets, which is for later, but I’m excited to get started on them.

Alex and I attended a ‘venue speed dating’ event yesterday run by the Melbourne Fringe Festival. Artists and venues were brought together to meet. We spoke to a number of great potential venues, several of which I would not have otherwise approached.

It’s still all very up in the air and I can’t tell you anything more. Watch this space for an image reveal in a few weeks – Fleur and Alexandra are Out of this World and they’re coming to a theatre near you.

Things are chugging along happily for me, I hope things are coming along for you too.

Reflections on 2017

17 Sunday Dec 2017

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I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve done over the year even though there are still two weeks left of 2017.

If I made a list of what I did this year it would be sort of inadequate to express what I’ve achieved. I’ll try to make this an interesting reflection on the things that went well and the things that didn’t go so well for me in 2017.

Writing

My commitment to my writing this year has had a few challenges. I finished a manuscript that I started last year in NaNoWriMo. It was 104,000 words at the end of the first draft in July. I pitched the manuscript to three publishers at the Romance Writers of Australia conference in Brisbane in August. Of those three, two wanted to see it. I thought I was finally getting the hang of this writing thing.

Since then one has come back to me with a no, the other hasn’t yet replied.

I participated in a weekly workshop for much of the year. Unfortunately that workshop became something I dreaded and sucked the joy out of my writing. I suspect the other members didn’t like my style, and so looked for something positive to say, but it felt forced. As a result, I felt like a fool even when I got positive feedback.

I’ve also written about 50,000 words on a new story, this year’s NaNoWriMo project. I’m considering using it for a self-published collection coming out next year. The story is reasonably solid, and it will need a bit of work to get it into shape.

Finally, I entered three writing competitions. I had aimed for five, but it didn’t quite happen. Perhaps I could count my pitches as competitions.

I’ve learnt the valuable lesson that I can’t listen to all criticism all the time. Not least because it depends who you ask. Editing is a skill I’d like to improve however I became so disheartened trying to please everyone that I didn’t even want to read my own story. From now on I’ll try to be more discerning in taking on critique.

Music

I joined Hello Volume in September of 2015. The three band members and I got on well, we were great at improvising and jamming out new material and I really enjoyed the process. One of my goals for 2017 was to get Hello Volume performing regularly, as well as working on new material.

Unfortunately, as of last month, I am no longer the bassist for Hello Volume. My priorities for the band were not the same as the other members, and I chose to move onto another project which was more in line with my personal goals.

Hello Volume played a number of cool gigs while I was involved: the Bendigo Hotel and the Workers Club, and open mics at Cherry Bar and Mr Boogie Man Bar. Thanks for jamming with me.

I wish the band all the best for the future and I’ll keep you in the loop with regards to my new project.

Day Job

I’m slowly coming to accept most art creators have a day job. There are lucky humans out there who make their living from their art, and that gives me hope. Most creative people I’ve met over the last year have jobs in the ‘real’ world.

It doesn’t make me any less of an artist that I have a job. I keep telling myself that. Artists have to make opportunities for themselves, self-publishing or putting on an independent show, or finding music performance opportunities, for the love of the art. If there’s some monetary reward then that’s a bonus.

It saddens me the world is structured like this. We are a society who doesn’t like paying for art. I’m as guilty of it as anyone else. I work hard for my money and I often don’t value art with my dollars.

My day job has been going along pretty well since my new boss started in late July. It’s probably sadistic of me to say I feel validated she’s getting frustrated by the same roadblocks I was before she started.

 

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Relaxing with my backyard banana lounge and a book (not pictured)

Overall, I think I’ve achieved a lot and learned a lot this year. I’ve done many things I’d never done before. I coped with some pretty difficult life crap too, like being evicted from my home with three days notice (the building was unsafe) among other things.

I think I’m starting to get a handle on the things I need to do to keep myself happy. I’m allowing myself to sit with my feelings more, particularly anger and loneliness. After having four good friends move away from Melbourne last year I’ve been looking for new people to hang out with. It’s a slow process.

Next year is looking busy and exciting. I’ll be doing my annual New Year’s Goals soon so stay tuned!

Back to Reality

26 Monday Sep 2016

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My fringe show is finished. We finished packing up the venue today. Now I have to deal with the flatness that comes with having finished a project. Something that I’ve poured so much energy and emotion and time into is all over. I don’t think we’ll revive the show, which is a little weird in itself. We have some photos coming soon, and then the whole thing will just be a memory.

I feel like I have all this space in front of me and it’s sort of overwhelming – mental space and space in my calendar for getting back into other writing projects and to get back to social obligations (and sleep) that I’ve been shirking in favour of the show.

Pre-show selfie – Fleur (r) and Alexandra (l) preparing to save the world.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who helped with the show, Alex my co-star and co-writer, Chris for production assistance, Leisa for technical assistance, Chris (the other one) for prop design, and Stuart for bump in and bump out.

I want to thank all of my friends and family who never doubted me for a moment and who never once told me it was a bad idea. I want to thank every single person who came along and made the show the success it was. Thank you for coming to see me, and for braving the wilds of Collingwood to find the venue (which was not easy, I know).

Every night we had a different challenge to overcome – whether it be black outs, or doors not locking, or my computer having a little attack right before show time. Doing a fringe festival show has been an exercise in creativity, ingenuity, abstract problem solving and treading the fine line between excitement and stress.

I certainly feel like I have the performance bug now, so I’m going to channel that into the band, and get my writing mojo back on track. Gotta keep this momentum going baby! NaNoWriMo is just around the corner, I don’t have any ideas yet, but I have time right?

The things you learn

25 Thursday Aug 2016

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We’re less than three weeks away from the opening night of my first ever Melbourne Fringe Festival show: Fleur and Alexandra Save the World.

I am approximately equal parts terrified and exhilarated. We still have a lot of props, sets, and costumes to finish, but the script is solid, we have a venue and most of the other important stuff is set up and ready to go.

I’ve learned while preparing for the show that I know more of my lines than I thought I did, which is a massive relief. On the other hand the terror of performance will probably mean I forget them all. So we’ll have to wait any see.

I’ve also learned a lot about making foam puppets, which is pretty cool. I’ve also learned that they totally look like fake boobs for the first little while! Until you put eyes and mouths and stuff on them.

Fringe Poster v2 final

Someone asked Alexandra, my Fringe partner, why she did it. It seemed like such an odd question! As with a lot of creative impulses, you don’t really know why, you just know you have to. You know that if you don’t, you’ll get sad. You know that it brings you joy, and hopefully, brings joy to others too.

Come be joyful with us! Opening night is 14 September,  tickets are available on the door and through the Melbourne Fringe Festival.

Wrapping up 2015

31 Thursday Dec 2015

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For the last couple of years, I’ve written a little review of my year in reference to the goals I set at the start of the year. I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions, because they have such a bad reputation for not sticking. Instead I like to set a bunch of goals. Some are stretch goals, which means I’ll have to work pretty darn hard to achieve them, some are hangover goals, which didn’t get done but which are still on the to-do list, and some are more like lifestyle aims.

Here is my list of goals for 2015, taken from my post last year:

  1. Win NaNoWriMo
  2. Finish and submit We Can’t Have Nice Things (the novel I started for 2014’s NaNoWriMo)
  3. Redraft the Adventures in Mediocrity script
  4. Visit the Netherlands
  5. Finish my Bachelor of Letters
  6. Perform with the band I’m in
  7. Find/perform at new spoken word events
  8. Find a ‘good’/’real’ job
  9. Talk to strangers
  10. Exercise
  11. Read
  12. Explore
  13. Expand
  14. Eat well

Let’s go through them!

1. Win NaNoWriMo

Yep. Totally did it. Wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure novel with 50k or so words. Editing this will be on the list for 2016.

2. Finish and submit We Can’t Have Nice Things (2014’s NaNoWriMo manuscript)

Well, I finished the initial draft. It took me longer than I’d hoped to get done. I slogged away through January forcing myself to write it, and then ignored it totally until about June when I’d finished studying. The manuscript ended up being about 65k words.

I sent it to a couple of people for an initial read, and I had some really interesting structural feedback. I haven’t yet been able to redraft the manuscript, fill out some parts, and shuffle the focus a  bit. It seems super daunting but it’s on my list of things to get started on in January 2016.

So I guess this one was half done.

3. Redraft Adventures in Mediocrity script.

This one’s a bit tricky to say yes or no to. I’ve redrafted it a couple of times, I’ve broken it up into six half-hour long episodes, sit-com style, and then I’ve redrafted those. But it’s not really finished. It’s been through a few iterations, and I think it has a bit more work still to be done to it.

4. Visit the Netherlands

Totally did this one! I visited my dear, beautiful friends Simon and Katharine who have moved to the Netherlands. It’s gorgeous there and I had an amazing time hanging out with them and eating good food and playing board games and riding bicycles around canals.

I also spent two weeks at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival filling my brain with arty goodness, see also this post and this post. Now I have to think about where I’m going to next! Possibly Asia somewhere.

5. Finish my Bachelor of Letters

Yes. Completely finished it, and I even graduated like a mother-flipping grown up! Go me! It feels a bit weird not to be learning in a structured environment. I might look into online courses/communities and other ways of keeping the flow of good stuff coming into my brain for 2016.

6. Perform with the band I’m in.

This one is a big old no. But there’s a reason: the band broke up. I am, however, in a new band, which is looking really good for performing early this year, end of January or early February we hope. We have a set of about half an hour, which is a bit rough around the edges but what better way to polish it up than performing for people, right? So I’m actually counting this one as partially completed.

7. Find/perform at new spoken word events

This one is also a no, but I feel like it’s a purposeful one. I was invited to perform some of my work at an event in mid-September. It was listed as being an edgy event where boundaries would be pushed. I was a little wary of what that meant, I mean, there’s edgy and there’s edgy right? So I sent off some suggested pieces to the organiser and she came back and said they weren’t really in the tone of the night. I was going for dark/gritty, almost horror type edgy, she apparently wanted titillating with a hint of 50 Shades of Grey type edgy, so I actually declined to perform. I’m not really sure spoken word is my jam. I think I’ll take it off the list for 2016.

8. Find a ‘good’/’real’ job

This one is a bit more vague, but I think this is still a bit of a work in progress. I’ve got a reasonably steady income doing temp work and life modelling, and I’m pretty happy doing that for the moment.

I’m still looking for what I really want to be doing. I know HR is not a sustainable long-term career choice for me, but it’s what I’m qualified in, what I’m good at, and what I keep getting offered. So I’ll stick at it until something more suitable for the long-term shows up.

Now we get into the more esoteric, even less-well-defined goals.

9. Talk to strangers
10. Exercise
11. Read
12. Explore
13. Expand
14. Eat well

For these goals, overall, I feel like I’ve done pretty well. I’ve met new people, I’ve kept up a reasonably regular exercise regime, I’ve read a bunch of books, I’ve also discovered the freedom to not finish ones I don’t like. I’ve explored two new European cities as well as discovering more about Melbourne’s live music and theatre/performance scene.

I’ve expanded my mind, I’ve had singing lessons and have a piano keyboard now. I’ve made changes to the composition of my social world, I’ve brought in some new people, let go of some old people, and strengthened connections with some people on the peripheries.

The last one, however, Eat Well, I still have room to improve on. I’m not in the habit of cooking properly for myself, partly I blame the lack of solid routine, and partly I blame not feeling like I’m worth it. I am totally worth the effort required to make up a batch of food and keep it for left overs. I am totally worth going to the markets to buy good quality meat and veg. I am totally worth spending that extra $20 to buy good food. I’m learning all the time and I know I’ll be better over the next year.

In summary, I’ve done some of the things I wanted to do, and I haven’t done some of the things I wanted to do. I’ve done things that weren’t on the list. It’s been a year of ups and downs, and hopefully I’m working towards something that’s a bit more stable, without being less exciting. Tomorrow I’m going to be doing a New Year’s goals post for 2016, so keep an eye out for that!

Homecoming Blues

12 Saturday Sep 2015

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Is there such a thing as post-travel blues? Because I’m pretty sure I have them. I’ve been back for exactly a week now and I still feel pretty lost and untethered. My trip was, at least in part, a celebration of the end of my second degree; a first step towards a new phase in my life. But that phase is still in germination and the reality is that I don’t really know what I’m doing.

I said in a previous post that I was going to focus on performance for the next little while, and I still am, but I’m feeling really poor after all the money I spent on the trip. Part of me wants to wait until I have a more stable income, or at least, an income, before booking in things like performance classes. That being said I have registered for an improv workshop which is part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival. I’ve also been in touch with a couple of bands looking for bassists but no bites yet.

On the income front, I came back from my trip to the promise of recruitment work with an agency, but it turned out to be much more casual than I had anticipated. That meant that the last two days I haven’t worked. Pros: I slept in. Cons: I didn’t earn any money, and in fact spent a bunch. I spent some time today applying for writing jobs, content producers and copywriters and that sort of thing. I think I’ll probably have difficulty getting one of these initially as I don’t have much in the way of professional experience, but hopefully my transferrable skills and personal writing experience will pique someone’s interest eventually. As long as I keep applying for things.

I’ve also decided to reactivate my online dating profile. Since Easter, so I guess nearly six months, I’ve put my online dating on hiatus because I felt like it wasn’t working for me. There are a lot of issues with online dating but these days it’s kind of hard to avoid if you’re in the market. While I was away I had zero holiday flings. I had quite a bit of flirtation, but it never amounted to anything. I’ve never really been one for holiday romances anyway, maybe I’m no good at picking up the signals, but also it seems like such a short term gain I’m not sure I would have bothered even if the situation had presented itself.

The main issue I have with online dating, and dating in general is something I’m going to call “feminism anxiety”. I can’t help buying into the patriarchal bullshit which says that women like me are too difficult to be in relationships. I question whether there is a man out there who can deal with my hairy armpits and anger at the system. And if I’m really honest, I don’t want someone who’s going to deal with it, I want someone who embraces my righteous indignation and wants to help break down the system with me. I know I could never accept someone who wasn’t a feminist but I’m scared that means I’ll be alone. Where do boss feminists like Clementine Ford get boys? And are there any more?

So yeah, a couple of things are getting me down at the moment. I’m sure they’re all temporary situations, but even so, it’s a tough place to be in. It’s always nice to know that I’m not the only one who has that little voice in their head telling them ‘you’re doing it all wrong,’ and ‘you’ll never get a <insert here> by doing that!’ and ‘you’ll never be good enough’. I’m sure things will resolve themselves into more of a routine and that will make me feel a lot better, and in the mean time I’ll try to take care of myself and trust that it will come out alright in the end.

Goodbye to the Fringe

01 Tuesday Sep 2015

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It’s my last day at the fringe*, I’m leaving early tomorrow and I feel a lot of things. I admit a fair whack of what I feel is tired, I didn’t get home till nearly 4am last night after the Crap Music Rave Party, but there are other feelings too. I think if Tomas Ford brought the show to Melbourne I’d get vast portions of my friends to come along. It was an extravaganza of nineties musical mediocrity!

I’m sad that the festival is winding down but in a way I’m relieved as well. It’s been a big, challenging, wonderful, intense adventure. I’ve seen a lot of shows (a total of 55 not including street shows) and while there were a few real duds there were lots of genuine diamonds too.. I’d like to do a show myself sometime. I think it could be good fun, but it would also be a lot of hard work. I have a lot of respect for these people, performers whose lives are lived on tour and with uncertain incomes. I feel like I have a better understanding of the fact that there are a lot of brilliant, creative people out there who still work in bars, or in office jobs because art (mostly) doesn’t pay the rent. I feel like I’m ready to accept that having a job in the ‘real’ world, one that allows some flexibility and secures my ability to pay my rent and to eat, is not a failing. It’s a necessary part of the sort of life I want to have. I can use my time outside of this job to learn and develop my art.

From now until Christmas I want to prioritise working on my performance skills. I know of some improv workshops around town which I want to check out and I’m going to get onto finding some more musicians to jam with. The challenge will be that in November I’ll attempt NaNoWriMo again. I’ve done it the last three years, but along with these two other priorities and working it might be a struggle. Then again, I tend to work fairly well under pressure, at least over fairly short periods of time, and I had other stuff on those other times too.

I’ll be back in Melbourne next weekend and I have some temp work lined up as soon as I get back. After a year of full-time study and a month long jaunt overseas I will feel much better once I’m earning and saving again instead of spending wildly. Well, I guess I haven’t been spending wildly, but it certainly hasn’t been a cheap year.

Despite being a bit travel weary I feel like I’ve been energised to get things happening. The manuscript for the novel I started during last November is almost ready to be sent out, and I think I’ll look into getting an agent this time. If anyone knows a book agent that might want to hear from me, please let me know.  So, while there is certainly nothing like travel to give a fresh outlook on things, there is also nothing quite like being on the way home. See you soon Melbs! I’ve missed you. Did you miss me? XOXO
*I wrote this yesterday, while waiting for a show, and posted it from London.