Tag Archives: Rant

Over half way to May!

17 Tuesday Apr 2018

Posted by in Art, My Journey, Writing

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This is just a brief update post on what’s happening in April. Things have been progressing well in my world. So far I have completed my poem each day (not today but shhh) as part of NaPoWriMo and making good progress on the show for the Melbourne Fringe Festival.

Firstly, the poetry. I’ve been writing everyday, which has been great. I’ve been hand-writing my poems, and then transcribing them onto the computer for posterity and editing (of which I have done little). So far most of the poems have been on the ranty end of the spectrum. There are one or two with potential to become something more polished. I wouldn’t show the raw poems to anyone, but as a way of getting some stuff out of my brain it’s been very effective.

I try not to judge the quality of my first drafts, but it’s a challenge to stay away from that judgemental thinking.

Last Sunday I attended a workshop run by one of the writing groups I’m a member of, the Melbourne Romance Writers Guild. We had well known author and all around champion human C. S. Pacat to talk about world building. It doesn’t sound much like romance at first but creating a sense of authenticity to the setting is important in any book, especially in fantasy or sci-fi.

The part of the workshop which really stood out to me was the idea of the creative phase versus the skeptic phase. The creative phase is when you write down every idea that comes to you. You ascribe no value to it. The skeptic phase is when you then go back and evaluate whether the ideas will ‘work’, if they’re practical, or derivative etc. Pacat said that these two types if thinking inhibit each other and doing them at the same time will not produce good results.

I’m very good at critiquing ideas as soon as they come to me, which is not very useful creatively. I’m sure it’s a skill, like any other, to allow yourself to ‘go mad’ in the first phase, and really hone in in the second phase. I aim to improve this skill set in future.

Secondly, Melbourne Fringe Festival registrations are now open. This means we’re de-prioritising script development to focus on venue selection and application submissions. I’ve also bought a bunch of materials to start making puppets, which is for later, but I’m excited to get started on them.

Alex and I attended a ‘venue speed dating’ event yesterday run by the Melbourne Fringe Festival. Artists and venues were brought together to meet. We spoke to a number of great potential venues, several of which I would not have otherwise approached.

It’s still all very up in the air and I can’t tell you anything more. Watch this space for an image reveal in a few weeks – Fleur and Alexandra are Out of this World and they’re coming to a theatre near you.

Things are chugging along happily for me, I hope things are coming along for you too.

Fragile Moments

02 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by in My Journey

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The following is a bit of a rambling rant. Please don’t feel any obligation to read it.

Today I’m sad. I have had an exhausting week up in Sydney doing training for my day job. The stuff covered was leadership, conflict management, and HR skills. Four and a half days of trying to work out what’s wrong with us and how to be better at our jobs.

At one point, about 3pm on Wednesday afternoon I cracked. I couldn’t handle it anymore, I just wanted to hide and cry and eat. I managed to stay in the room for the rest of the afternoon and even pretended to get involved in some of the activities but I’d definitely hit a wall.

I don’t remember exactly what tipped me over the edge, what it was that triggered an enormous rush of anxiety to wash over me. Maybe it was one thing, or maybe it was a culmination of things from the first three days of training but it was just all too much for me.

I had a similar experience today. I was out for lunch with a couple of people I’d met through my writers’ group. At one point I started to tell them about the stuff I was going through at the moment, about the dark place I’m in, and some of the stuff I’ve been trying to do in my life to get it sorted out. At one point one of my companions decided that I had a personality disorder; well first one and later he revised it to a different one. This is a man I’ve met only once before today. A man who has no qualifications in psychology or any related fields. At first I thought he might be right, but the more I thought about it, the less I felt like that. I felt like he was trying to fit me into a box, to invalidate my experiences by saying I was ‘just disordered’, not a response to some particularly challenging circumstances. It also seemed to me to be a bit of a cop out, as my understanding of personality disorders is that they are incredibly difficult to treat and hard to overcome.

I don’t want anyone reading this to think that I have a problem with anyone with a personality disorder, or that I am judging anyone, well except this guy. My issue is they way that conversation made me feel. I felt small. I felt broken. I felt dismissed. I felt like telling him to shove it up his arse. That he had no right to cast aspersions on my mental health. That he was not trained and that he suffered from the tendency of first year medical/psychology students to diagnose themselves and others with all sorts of exotic problems.

I guess I am probably particularly sensitive to shifts in my mood lately, and to trying to figure out the things which have caused the shift but I still think that it was out of line.

So I’m sad. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing really well, other times not so much. Anyway just thought I’d have a rant. I took a few photos while I was away, not as many as I would have liked, I’ll put some of the good ones up soon.