Bad days
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Hard days and nights
This last couple of days have been particularly hard for me. In addition to being cooped up inside for the second week in a row I’ve been going through some pretty heavy self-reflection. I had a run in with my estranged father. He came across this blog and I was horrified. I couldn’t put my…
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I found my diary…
I’ve mentioned before that I’m writing some memoirs. At this stage they’re largely for my own use, so that I can process some stuff that’s going on for me, but today I found a diary, an online journal. It has entries dating from May 2001 to September 2007 although most of the entries are from…
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Is this what it feels like?
I’ve been working on with my psychologist on trying to be aware of and honest about my feelings. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, to be hurt, to be scared, trying to let go of the strong, distant Fleur and embracing the Fleur who is stressed out by things, and who feels sad (and happy) about…
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Trust the Universe
I wrote quite a long post about how I’ve been a bit down recently over my lack of romance. I have decided not to publish that. Instead, I am going to publish the below list of affirmations that came out of that post and that I want to make the mantras of my life. I…
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Sunsets and Ivy: An adventure
After writing the post earlier about how emotional I had found writing I decided to go for a wander down to Kooyong Lawn Tennis Courts and take some photos of the ivy growing on the outer walls. Malvern and surrounding suburbs has the highest proportion of ivy covered buildings I’ve seen in Melbourne, and given…
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Writing is like, hard, y’know?
On Monday morning at 9am I sat down to write a short story. I had set myself the challenge of writing four or five first drafts for some short story competitions I had found online. The story I wrote on Monday was about my mother’s experience with cancer. The Cancer Council had set up an…
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But I wasn’t ready!
Today I didn’t go to work because I’m on school holidays. I started the day slowly with a nice cup of coffee and wrote my first draft of the first of the short stories I had set myself to write. I did my reading for uni, both accounting and history, I started on my history…
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Bravado
I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday. Sessions with her are always really difficult and yesterday she told me that I use bravado, that I have a persona, to cope with the fact that I don’t like people to know that I’m vulnerable. As irritating as it is to admit, I think she’s right.…
Fleur Blüm 