I feel like I haven’t been updating as often as I should, and I’m sorry to say it’s because I haven’t been doing so great lately. I’ve been dealing with some stuff that’s come up in therapy and to be honest it’s been taking up a lot of my time just keeping myself afloat. I’ve had to answer the question ‘So, how have you been lately’ a lot over the last few weeks and it’s been increasingly difficult to feel genuine when I say ‘Yeah, good, and you?’
In addition to the therapy stuff some of my attempts to make some new friends (as advised by my psychologist and my GP) have gone pretty disastrously badly. Breaking up with friends (yes, it’s a thing and it’s something people should do more often) is something I never enjoy.
I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about my current struggle and they all assure me that it will be over soon. I kind of know, deep down, that this must be the dark before the dawn but at the same time it feels so very, very dark.
I’ve been trying to do the right things for myself: taking my medication, and seeing my psychologist and my GP. They talk about me apparently, and worry about me. I don’t know whether that makes me feel better or worse!
I’m learning to be nicer to myself when I think I’m being unproductive. Art is not something that can be done in a production line, it has to come from somewhere and go to somewhere. I guess the plus side of this current slump is that I have lots of great material. Or something.
Right now I’m trying to focus on simple things.
– Drinking more water, having less caffeine and eating well;
– Exercising and stretching;
– Meditating and being in the moment;
– Not pushing myself too hard; and
– Continuing to pursue relationships which nurture me.
There has been some good stuff taking up my time too. I’ve started taking acting classes and am really enjoying the new outlet for my creativity, even though some of the activities I find incredibly challenging. The last weekend was filled with some amazing socialising; a wedding and a beautiful catch up with a friend from out of town.
I hope that I’ll have some more awesome stuff for you all soon, photo essays, writings, adventures and other things. In the meantime I’m going to take each day as it comes and hopefully things will improve.