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Fleur Blüm

~ writer, performer, musician

Fleur Blüm

Tag Archives: Melbourne

Endings and Beginnings

06 Wednesday Apr 2022

Posted by toearlyretirement in Art, Writing

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day job, Inspiration, Melbourne, NaNoWriMo, NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Writing Month, Poetry, Writing

April is my poetry writing month, as I undertake the Na/GloPoWriMo a month-long poetry challenge initiated by Maureen Thorson on the model of NaNoWriMo. Each day Maureen presents a prompt, relating to content, or form, or sometimes both.

I have written poetry since I was an angsty teen, some of my previous work still exists on my old website, as well as in my chapbook, Smells Like Teen Angst, but I often don’t make time for it, outside of April. I’m a member of a poetry workshop/collective, and I have been workshopping poems from last year’s NaPoWriMo all the way up to the start of this year’s challenge.

I’m heading out to the northwest of Melbourne to a writers’ retreat on the weekend. I’m looking forward to the stimulation and to the potential networking opportunities. I hope that I can get value from the content, as I haven’t worked with the organisers before. If nothing else, I will try to enjoy a weekend in the country. Maybe they will have a big bath that I can relax in, or a piano.

In my life outside of writing, I’ve resigned from my day job and will be starting a new day job after Easter. I’ve been working for the same organisation for almost six years, and it feels very strange preparing to leave it now. A lot has changed over that time; I’ve had three different managers, and we’ve been moved around departments a number of times, but a lot has stayed the same too. I won’t go into too many details, but I’m both excited and a little nervous about the new role. It’s with a similar organisation doing a similar job, hopefully with some more seniority.

Many of my colleagues have expressed their gratitude for the work I do, a couple have said I can’t leave, which I assume means something similar. The relationships I’ve forged with the people there have been the highlight, and one of the reasons I’ve been able to stay on so long. I’m sorry to leave the organisation, there will be a bit of messiness in the transition to a new person in my role, but I hope they’ll be able to structure things in a way that benefits everyone.

April seems to be a time for beginnings and endings. Closing one door allows another to open, I’m feeling pumped to find out what’s on the other side of this one. I might even be inspired to put up one of my daily poems too.

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Smells Like Teen Angst

21 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by toearlyretirement in Art, Writing

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chapbook, goth, Inspiration, Melbourne, Poetry, Writing, zine

In honour of the release of my two new novels next Monday I’ve dug through one of my first websites for the dreadful poetry of my teens.

I have created a chapbook featuring a collection of ten of my best (or worst) poems.

You can download a copy of the new collection here.

Be warned, these poems are exactly the level of ‘good’ you would expect from a goth teen.

I hope you’ve all preordered your ebook copies of my two new Barrett novels, Sins of the Father and The Mother’s Fault, print copies will be available from next week.

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Why would you do that?

04 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by toearlyretirement in My Journey

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Dating, don't do that, Melbourne, online dating

TL;DR don’t touch people you don’t know.

This is a story of something that happened to me today. A cautionary tale. It has left me quite shaken and I want to share the experience with the world for two reasons: if you are the recipient of this kind of behaviour, know that you are not obliged to be okay with it. More importantly, if you do this sort of thing, please take some time to rethink your choices.

I am currently single, as a result I am on several dating apps, with mixed success. I had been chatting to a fellow, Joe (not his real name), for a few weeks on and off. He suggested we meet for lunch, and I suggested a cute pub/cafe in Brunswick Street.

I arrived first and sat at a table outside in the shade. I sent him a message on the app to say that I had a table and would see him shortly.

Hands come across my vision – someone behind me is covering my eyes and I’m startled. A face comes into my view from behind my left shoulder, the face of Joe.

I’m literally speechless. I don’t know Joe from a bar of soap and he decided to surprise me from behind before we’d even said hello. Even now, typing this, my cortisol and adrenaline are spiking.

Once I recover my ability to speak, I say that wasn’t okay. That sneaking up on someone is really threatening. That I need a moment to process. He says he’s sorry, and feels like a bit of an idiot. What I want to say is ‘good, so you should’, but I keep that to myself.

For a brief moment, I considered laughing it off but I felt nauseous and shakey. My eyes were darting around looking for threats. I’m sure all the colour drained from my face. I had to be true to my experience and I was incredibly unsettled. I did not want to be anywhere near this person, and any romantic notions were gone. I say I’m going to have to reschedule and leave. As I walk away my legs are jelly. My heart is pounding and I am both frightened and furious.

I do not, for a moment, believe Joe had bad intentions. I’m sure he thought this would be a funny meet cute, and that, like a romantic comedy, I would giggle and think it was great. But I didn’t.

What I learned from this interaction is that Joe thinks his need to ‘make an entrance’ or ‘seem spontaneous’ trumps my right to feel safe, and my right to bodily autonomy. That he has no concept of personal space or why it might be important.

And then there’s the fact he put his hands on my face IN A PANDEMIC. We are all social distancing, and avoiding hugs so get you can certainly your germy hands off me!

It took me fifteen minutes, pacing around Fitzroy, on the phone to a friend to calm down enough to have eat (since I fled the place I was supposed to have lunch). My hands still shook around the chopsticks.

I don’t think this person will take the time to consider how his actions affected me. He has sent a message since which reads as though he’s chalking it up to ‘not a good match’, which is definitely true, but not the whole story. I’m fucking furious that Joe has upset me in this way, and that he doesn’t appear to have any idea that he is at fault. I hope he reads this and is ashamed enough to change his behaviour in future. Not cool Joe. So not cool.

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Barrett Women Series: Pre-order your ebook Now

28 Friday Jan 2022

Posted by toearlyretirement in Writing

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Author, Inspiration, Melbourne, new release, Writing

This is just a quick update. My new novels will be available in exactly one month from today and I can now share links to the ebooks for pre-order.

Book 1: Sins of the Father universal link, or Amazon link.

Book 2: The Mother’s Faulth universal link or Amazon link.

Paperback copies are still in progress, but will also be available from 28 Feburary 2022.

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Another year over…

31 Friday Dec 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in Art, Music, My Journey, Writing

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Goals, Inspiration, Melbourne, Music, NaNoWriMo, NaPoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, National Poetry Writing Month, Poetry, wasted monday, Writing, Writing goals

Each year I do a little wrap up post about the last twelve months and how they’ve gone for me. 2020 was, as I’m sure it was for many of you, a shit show. 2021 started out hopeful, I went back to working in the office sometimes, I saw a couple of Melbourne Comedy Festival shows and a few band nights and gigs around town.

I even managed to get through the year without testing positive for COVID which is nice; I’m not sure I’ll be able to say the same for next year. Our case numbers are in the thousands per day, but with over 90% of the population vaccinated, it seems hopeful that we’ll be able to stay open even with new variants.

I set my expectations pretty low, after 2020 I wanted to feel confident I would tick some of them off, even if there was another long lockdown. Turns out I was right to be sceptical that our freedom would last; from May until October, we were all stuck inside again and we’re only allowed out now because of high vaccination rates.

My goals for 2021 are as follows:

  • Publish Singular Focus
  • Finish manuscript from NaNoWriMo 2020
  • NaPoWriMo 2021 (April)
  • NaNoWriMo 2021 (November)
  • Keep up the blog
  • Paint more murals
  • Put on a third Melbourne Fringe Festival show (October)*
  • Wasted Monday performances*

I achieved all my goals, except for the Fringe Show. If I’m honest, I’m not sure I would have done a show this year even without lockdown. There is a lot of joy in putting on a Fringe show, but an enormous amount of work. I’m focussing my energy on my writing, music, and doing some painting as well. I have three murals in my apartment now and have moved on to smaller boards that can be kept or given away to friends.

I took up piano lessons late in 2020, online only at the time since we were still in lockdown then. After a little over a year, I’m enjoying playing and tinkering on the piano. I might even build a repertoire so I can do some open mic nights with the keyboard – although the keyboard’s pretty massive so transporting it will be a pain. My piano teacher has organised two small concerts in 2021 with her adult students, and I have really enjoyed having an audience again, as well as being able to play two or three gigs with Wasted Monday when we were allowed.

Five people pose, each giving a peace sign with both hands and smiling broadly.
Piano concert crew: Jaya, Andrew, me, Mizuki (teacher) and Ben, November 2021.

My work that can be done at home has been pretty consistent, I have drafted about 80k of a new novel, and I have two novels that will be ready for publication in 2021 (stay turned for title and cover reveals).

Though I did a 30k goal for NaNoWriMo, I’m counting it. It’s been a tough year and my writing practice is pretty solid, so I don’t need to rely on November to make up the lion’s share of my first draft output.

My ankle, which was smashed when I was struck by a car in January 2020, is largely recovered, though there is some long-term damage and it’s never going to be back to the way it was. The biggest issue I have nowadays is chronic back pain, likely a secondary injury from the ankle problem. I find it hard to work when I’m in pain, a sentiment I’m sure many of you share.

I’m pleased to say my relationships–with friends, family and work colleagues–have remained solid for the duration, I am so grateful to have so many fantastic people around me. Even when we couldn’t see anyone in real life, I knew you were all there, at the end of the phone or over text.

My grandmother passed in September, she was 94, so had a good run. The funeral was weird, because we were in lockdown and had only two people in the chapel, and a few more watching online. Most other things have ticked along, in some cases limped along during lockdown, but have largely survived. I feel hopeful that 2022 will be enjoyable, possibly going out of the house more often, perhaps I’ll even be able to have a holiday outside of Victoria.

I wish you all health, happiness, relaxation and fulfilment, for the next year and beyond. The next post will include my new year goals.

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NaNoWriMo 2021

31 Sunday Oct 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in My Journey, Writing

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Melbourne, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Writing

Regular readers of the blog will know that I have been participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) every year since 2012. This year will be my tenth year participating. The stats on the NaNoWriMo website say I’ve written 466,945 words as part of my NaNo projects, which seems amazing and doesn’t include the words I’ve written outside of the November challenge months.

When I first started doing NaNo I didn’t know what I was doing. I had no writing practice, had a lot to learn about plotting and drafting and editing. Since then, I’ve done a lot of learning, both through courses, and reading, and my own writing practice. I will continue to learn throughout my writing career, one never stops gathering knowledge and if you do then surely the spark has gone.

The idea of doing 50k words in November seems overwhelming. In past years, NaNo has taken between one and two hours every day to win, and I don’t know if I can commit to that. After being in lockdown for so long I crave being out and taking on a challenge which will necessitate being inside seems like going backwards. Not to mention I’ve taken up a few other hobbies like piano and other things that I want to be able to make time for. So this year I am setting a goal of 30k words. A thousand a day. If I’m on a roll, I might get through in 45-60mins. It will still be a challenge for my time management, and I will probably have to make some sacrifices, but it also means if I skip a day I can make it up the next day without struggling too much. My brain can’t produce much more than 2000 words a day at the best of times, so my margin for bad or busy days in previous years has been pretty slim. Part of me feels as though this doesn’t count as doing a NaNoWriMo project, but I am going to count it none the less.

I’ve been working on a sequel to a previous book that I’ve published, but I won’t give away anything yet. I received two manuscripts back from my editor this last week and I will be looking to publish them together in 2022. I can’t tell you their names yet, since I’m still struggling with titles for both of them. I don’t want to do covers until they have names either.

I hope you’re all doing well, if you’re in Melbourne maybe you’re venturing out slowly (or quickly) into the world out of lockdown. I’ll keep you all updated on my progress, and as soon as I have titles for my two new manuscripts, I’ll announce them too.

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The end is near*

22 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in Uncategorized

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Birthday, COVID-19, Melbourne, Writing

*or nearer than before.

Next Monday will be my birthday. The second to be celebrated in significant restrictions as a result of COVID-19. Back at the start of all of this, in March of 2020, people said it would take two years to get through and out the otherside. We’re already well into a year and a half and I’m not confident we’ll be out the other side into COVID-normal in another six months.

On top of the usual pandemic nonsense, Melbourne has been hectic the last few days. Yesterday we have people protesting in the city, where everybody involved seemed violent, shouty and not wearing masks, and this morning we had a 6-magnitude earthquake which was unsettling to say the least.

Chocolate bundt cake with coloured smarties and candles on top.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

On Monday I’ll be having the day off work (which I do from home) and am heading out to a local park for a coffee and cake date with my mum, who I haven’t seen for several months. At least we’re allowed to sit down to have a chat now without breaking the law.

The good news is I’ve managed to have two shots of the COVID-19 vaccine, with minimal side-effects. Sadly my 5G is not improved, and I am not magnetic, however I’m confident my resistance to the plague has increased.

My birthday will consist of making myself a cake (possibly cupcakes), and ordering take-away to eat while having a catch up online with friends. What a world we live in! I’ve been drafting a new novel and I found myself writing all of their scenes at home. I’ll have to send them out to see a band or something, since the book is set in a non-COVID world.

A friend suggested lockdown birthdays don’t count, and I have therefore not aged. I love the idea, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve aged ten years since January 2020. So much (and yet also so little) has happened. Part of me thinks this will be a defining era in my lifetime, on the other hand, everything changes all the time, and maybe we’ll forget the whole thing and get back to living our lives.

Until then, it’s Happy Birthday to me from inside my house. I hope you’re all safe and maybe I’ll see you in the real world one day soon.

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Anniversary Gift – New Release

27 Friday Aug 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in Uncategorized

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Anniversary, Art, chapbook, Melbourne, new release, Poetry, poetry groups, Writing

Time in the last year or two has become meaningless in a lot of ways. 2020 started with being hit by a car (I refuse to call it an accident), and then we all went into the long lockdown. Things were looking up in early 2021 but we’re back in long lockdown again, perhaps we’ll be able to get out by November? It’s hard to know and I’m not holding my breath.

It dawned on me yesterday (possibly the day before, again, time is weird) that November will mark ten years since I started this blog. I know, what the actual hell, right? I have my thinking cap on for ways to celebrate the anniversary. If it were a wedding anniversary it would be tin (sounds very Kiwi if you ask me), perhaps I’ll work that in somewhere.

The project I can announce that will be ready for November is the release of my new poetry chapbook: Consider the Watchmaker. It is a collection of poems, some of which have been featured here on my blog, and others that are unpublished.

Consider the Watchmaker is available for pre-order on Amazon and various other platforms. At the moment it is only available in ebook format, however I will probably put together print copies, zine style, one day when I’m allowed back into a print shop.

I think of this collection as my anniversary gift to myself, and to you, my loyal fans. It’s been an amazing journey and I’m so glad you’ve been there to experience it with me. May we continue to evolve and adventure for many more years (hopefully with less car collisions and pandemics, thanks all the same).

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Here we are again

25 Sunday Jul 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in Art, My Journey, Writing

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Art, Melbourne, Writing, Writing Conference, Writing project

It’s probably not news that COVID-19 is still a thing. In Australia, Victoria, New South Wales and South Australia are all in lockdown. We’re not allowed out except for the five basic needs; food, medical care, caregiving, essential work, and getting a vaccine.

In a little over two weeks I’m supposed to be going to the Gold Coast for a writers conference, but it’s unclear whether Queensland will even let my into the state – and that’s assuming our lockdown is lifted in time in order to leave Victoria. It’s not clear at this stage whether the conference will be able to go ahead, even if it’s moved online as it was last year.

It’s disappointing to be back here again, it’s disappointing to still be unvaccinated – though hopefully I’ll be on the way to that by the end of next week.

In the meantime, I’ve been able to work from home. I’ve been toiling away at various indoor projects, including piano practice, and a mural in my apartment. It’s based on a tarot card design by Matt Hughes for The High Priestess, a card that particularly resonates with me.

A black, white and purple stylised mural of a woman holding a book. she is surrounded by art nouveau border designs.
The High Priestess

My latest writing project is editing a novel I’m planning to release in 2022. Part of a two-book series about a mother and daughter, as yet both are unnamed, but perhaps my editor will have some ideas in October when she has a look over it.

I was really looking forward to the conference, and to the break in sunny (or at least sunnier than here) Queensland. Perhaps I’ll be able to go somewhere in Victoria instead, or later in the year if all else fails. Until then it’s stay inside, wear my mask, do my bit, and hope the situation improves soon.

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We’re halfway there!

21 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by toearlyretirement in Art, My Journey

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Adventure, Challenge, Fleur and Alexandra Save the World, Inspiration, Melbourne, Melbourne Fringe Festival

Tonight we start the second week of my first ever Melbourne Fringe Festival show and it’s raining again. I know that Spring is supposed to be rainy, and I know that we need the rain, but it still puts me in a kinda flat mood, especially after all the sunshine yesterday.

I’ve been still struggling with the roller coaster ride of emotions that seem to come with performing. Agitation, tension, that sick feeling I get in the five minutes before show time. Then I come off the stage and I’m buzzed and bouncing, and then exhausted but can’t sleep for hours. I don’t know whether it gets better, or more likely, you get used to the crazy ride.

I question why I’m doing this in those moments, but when I’m up on the stage and people are laughing at stuff I wrote, it’s the best feeling. And afterward, when people give my amazing feedback like ‘you’re a natural performer’, ‘the chemistry between you two is great’,  ‘I can’t believe it’s taken you so long to do this!’ and ‘you have such a lovely stage presence’ I feel such pride and relief. I feel like I can dismiss all those little voices in my head telling me that I shouldn’t do this, or I’m fooling myself.

I think creative people will always have those little niggling doubts. That sick feeling will always come the moment before you go on stage. The worry that I have made something terrible, and people won’t like it.

I know that I shouldn’t be worrying about whether people like my art, I should just do it because I want to, because I need to create. But I do want people to like it. I want people to like me because they like my art.

In summary I’m having both an amazing and a terrible time doing this show. I’m so proud of it. So come see it y’all!

Fleur and Alexandra Save the World

7:30pm, Sept 21-24. $20 ($16 concession) on the door.

Collingwood Underground Car Park, 44 Harmsworth St, Collingwood, VIC 3066

 

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Recent Posts

  • Poetry and travel
  • I sing a song
  • Endings and Beginnings
  • Smells Like Teen Angst
  • Why would you do that?
  • Barrett Women Series: Pre-order your ebook Now
  • Barrett Women Series: Cover Reveal
  • Welcome to 2022!
  • Another year over…
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Melbourne, Australia
fleurblum@hotmail.com

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