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Fleur Blüm

~ writer, performer, musician

Fleur Blüm

Tag Archives: Birthday

The end is near*

22 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by toearlyretirement in Uncategorized

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Birthday, COVID-19, Melbourne, Writing

*or nearer than before.

Next Monday will be my birthday. The second to be celebrated in significant restrictions as a result of COVID-19. Back at the start of all of this, in March of 2020, people said it would take two years to get through and out the otherside. We’re already well into a year and a half and I’m not confident we’ll be out the other side into COVID-normal in another six months.

On top of the usual pandemic nonsense, Melbourne has been hectic the last few days. Yesterday we have people protesting in the city, where everybody involved seemed violent, shouty and not wearing masks, and this morning we had a 6-magnitude earthquake which was unsettling to say the least.

Chocolate bundt cake with coloured smarties and candles on top.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

On Monday I’ll be having the day off work (which I do from home) and am heading out to a local park for a coffee and cake date with my mum, who I haven’t seen for several months. At least we’re allowed to sit down to have a chat now without breaking the law.

The good news is I’ve managed to have two shots of the COVID-19 vaccine, with minimal side-effects. Sadly my 5G is not improved, and I am not magnetic, however I’m confident my resistance to the plague has increased.

My birthday will consist of making myself a cake (possibly cupcakes), and ordering take-away to eat while having a catch up online with friends. What a world we live in! I’ve been drafting a new novel and I found myself writing all of their scenes at home. I’ll have to send them out to see a band or something, since the book is set in a non-COVID world.

A friend suggested lockdown birthdays don’t count, and I have therefore not aged. I love the idea, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve aged ten years since January 2020. So much (and yet also so little) has happened. Part of me thinks this will be a defining era in my lifetime, on the other hand, everything changes all the time, and maybe we’ll forget the whole thing and get back to living our lives.

Until then, it’s Happy Birthday to me from inside my house. I hope you’re all safe and maybe I’ll see you in the real world one day soon.

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Next on the list

03 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by toearlyretirement in My Journey, Writing

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Birthday, getting older, journey, life, Melbourne Fringe Festival, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Theatre, Writing

It was my birthday last week. With all of the goings on for my Fringe Festival show I didn’t have much mental capacity for organising a birthday do, or for contemplating mortality. This week I do! So I’ve been thinking about what it means to be 34.

If I think back to when I was younger, let’s say school leaving age, and what I thought I would have achieved by the time I was in my 30s. It included married/long term relationship, kids, uni, working as a doctor. Untitled design.jpg

I have achieved only one of those things: I successfully completed uni. I have also achieved numerous things that weren’t even remotely on the list: I’ve been in three bands; produced/performed two independent theatre shows; and I’ve published one novel, one zine, and has several short works included in anthologies.

At the end of year 12, when I got my university entrance result, I cried. I had missed out on medicine by less than one point. Sitting at my desk now, I don’t think I would have been very happy as a doctor. I probably wouldn’t have rediscovered my creativity. I wouldn’t have had the self-assurance (or possibly stupidity) to make my own opportunities.

I don’t particularly believe in an all-powerful omniscient being who has a plan for our lives, but I do think some things happen for a reason. I’ve been through some rough patches, and I’ve had some really great patches. Today I’m still trying to refocus my brain from the world of the show into the world of writing. I’m planning to do NaNoWriMo again this November, which will be somewhat more difficult due to spending half the month in Japan. I also don’t have any ideas yet! I’m sure I’ll think of something.

The passage of time has its effect on everyone. I find it interesting to think back on what used to be important to me, and compare it to what is important to me now. I’m proud of the life I’ve created for myself. I hope that my future holds even more stuff that I didn’t expect that makes my life richer. Who knows, this time next year I might have a completely different to-do list.

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Getting Older

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by toearlyretirement in My Journey

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Birthday, Challenge, Melbourne, Travel

So I had a birthday this week – my thirtieth. I know there will be people out there who will roll their eyes a the idea that thirty is old, but it really feels like it should be something, should signify something.

I keep finding myself worrying about the fact that I don’t feel like I have things under control. I don’t feel like I am where I thought I would be by now – I have partner, no kids, no job and, really, no idea what I’m going to do with my life. Not only do I have none of those boxes ticked, but I don’t even feel like I’m close. I know the whole ‘people have it all figured out’ thing is a total myth, but even so, I feel a bit untethered.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes me who I am. I’ve also been thinking about making some changes. Maybe after thirty years in Melbourne I need to look at going outside to get to the next level. I’ve been considering spending a year abroad, which I know many people do in their early twenties, but I never did it. As of the middle of next year, my university course will be finished (assuming I don’t fail anything, which I should be able to manage), and I’ll need to start thinking about grown up things like having a proper job, or at least something that will support me while I continue with my writing and other stuff.

Most of my friends are older than I am and they assure me that the dirty thirties are where it’s at. I hope they’re right. I’m sure there’s a great plan that the universe has for me, or maybe it’s one of those when all the pieces fit together it will make sense kind of things. And maybe it’s just how the world is, confusing and so mind-bogglingly full of possibilities that there feels like there’s no discernible pattern.

All I can do is keep trying things, keep being true to who I am and trying to grow in myself. It’ll all work out, right?

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fleurblum@hotmail.com

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